Let's Get Serious
by Erin Ellis
Summary: Kaoru decides to make progress in her relationship with Kenshin. However, Kenshin seems to be beginning relationships of his own... Spoilers for first season OOCness abounds. Sortof...stalled. Eheh.
1. About A Girl

He broke from the nightmare and realized it was just a dream. No more haunted, empty faces threatening to drown him in rivers of blood, just... everyday life. Sitting up, he brushed his hair out of his face, noting the way his hands shook. Light was just now peeking over the horizon, but he knew there was no way he could get back to sleep now.

Ah well, there was always the laundry. 

Himura Kenshin rose, beginning his day.

+ + +

** Let's Get Serious**  
a Rurouni Kenshin fanfic by Erin Ellis  
** Chapter One: About A Girl**

+ + +

Kamiya Kaoru was alone in bed when she woke up. Which made sense, since she'd been alone when she went to sleep. It was only proper, as an unmarried girl such as herself oughtn't be sleeping with anyone, anyway. But still... it was a little lonely. 

She had heard stories of Westerners who slept with sheep in their beds, for... companionship. She had heard other stories saying it wasn't sheep, but dogs the white men shared their beds with, and for companionship of a much less physical sense. 

But Kaoru didn't want a dog, or a sheep for that matter. She already had a Yahiko, that was more than enough pets. No, what she wanted was what some of her female acquaintances claimed she already had, and she would quickly if not somewhat sadly refute them. What, or rather, -who- she wanted was probably up and about now, already washed and dressed and working on breakfast or thinking about laundry or something else utterly unassuming and domestic. Who she wanted was her very own Himura Kenshin, to have and to hold and hang out and do exciting things with, like... um... cook dinner, and, er, do laundry. She decided to ignore the fact that she could do all that now. 

Why Kaoru had mused about being the lone occupant of her futon this morning, as opposed to every other morning she woke as the lone occupant of her futon was because -while- sleeping she'd been with someone. She'd had the dream again. Not the one where she was Queen of the Amazons and a host of bishounen served her chocolates on silver platters -- actually, she did have that one quite often; she wasn't quite sure why she always woke up before the lap dances -- but no, not that one, the other one. In it, she and Kenshin were sitting side-by-side. She sneaked a glance at him out of the corner of her eye. She found that it hurt to look out of the corners of her eyes for too long. Finally, she turned and looked at him. He looked at her. She smiled. He smiled back. Then he turned back to staring out into space. That continued for another ten minutes or so, until she woke up. 

"Mou," she commented weakly. That had been depressing. Not even in her dreams could she get anywhere with Kenshin. She set her jaw. Well, that was going to change. Because she wanted him to like her. No, because he really -did- like her, he just hadn't told her yet. He -had- to care for her, at least a little bit. Why else would he have saved her life all those times? Kenshin didn't seem the type to do it just for the free roof over his head. He'd better not be, anyway... 

Kaoru decided not to pursue that like of thought anymore, since it would probably just make her angry. And she didn't want to be angry. She wanted Kenshin to like her. And really, she couldn't think of any reasons why he wouldn't. She was attractive; if not drop dead gorgeous, she was at least pretty. She could be deadly cute if need be. She was kind and caring and peaceful -- well, when she wasn't yelling or bossing anyone around or beating the crap out of anyone. And that was often enough. ...Well, maybe it didn't really happen all that often at all. 

The dark-haired girl sighed. Maybe she wasn't giving off the right aura of womanhood... Did she seem like Kaoru the Tantrumy Little Girl? or Kaoru the Mature Woman? Megumi never tried to beat up Kenshin. Mrs. Tanaka down the street didn't force her husband to cook dinner every night. She sighed again. Kaoru had to face it: at least around the house, she was as prone to using her fists as Sano. And, she lamented, Kenshin was probably just as unlikely to marry her as the spiky-haired fighter. 

"All right then, it's settled," she announced. Kenshin was worth giving up violence. Senseless violence, anyway. The Doll's Festival mockups of herself and Kenshin that Tae had given her remained silent with what Kaoru took as approval. "Just like you have him," she pointed from the Kaoru doll to the Kenshin one, "soon, the real Kenshin will be mine. Just you watch."

+ + +

He watched. 

He saw the Battousai, calmly filling a washbucket, probably getting an early jump on the laundry that seemed to take up an inordinate amount of his time. 

He saw a lovely house. Cute, if overly feisty kids to share it with. The biggest troubles in life dirty dishes, or an emergency run to the market for more tofu. 

He stopped watching, disgusted. How could they allow Himura Battousai to live in this seemingly pastoral bliss? How could -he-, having been wronged by the Battousai's own hands, allow such a person -- he was loathe to use the term "man" -- to continue in this undeservedly easy life? 

The simple answer? He could not. 

The not-so-simple answer factored in such things as his nigh-fanatical devotion to the destruction of the Battousai as counterpoint to the questionable logic of challenging the man, as he had already suffered defeat at not only the Battousai's hands, but those of lesser men. In actuality, the not-so-simple answer tried to change its result to something more akin to leaving the Battousai alone, maybe skipping town and starting up someplace near Yokohama, enjoying the weather, maybe starting up a little family. 

Needless to say, the mysterious figure was not listening to the not-so-simple answer. The mysterious figure was busy laughing. An evil and perhaps closetly maniacal laugh at the fall the Battousai surely would experience at his hands. A long and full laugh, as life, from here on out, would be very, very good. 

And because of this laugh, it caused him to miss the 'oro' of surprise, and the splash that followed it. 

In retrospect, it probably wouldn't have made a great deal of difference, as the policeman patrolling the area soon hurried him along, seemingly none too pleased at having a freaky laughing peeping-tom on his beat.

+ + +

Kaoru as well heard nothing out of the ordinary as she finished her morning ablutions and walked to the yard to do some practice before breakfast. But then, she was lost in thought, still trying to narrow her plans to win over Kenshin from 'yeah, that's a good idea' to perhaps something involving some action. 

Faintly, she heard a sizable amount of water being moved, then noticed the washtub rolling towards her before falling over on its side. Following the trail of spilt suds, she saw her laundry spilled into a heap on the ground, tangled around two sets of ankles. Following those ankles upwards was Kenshin, in the arms of some unidentified woman. Blinking, she stepped forward, vein on her temple beginning to throb. 

Oh, this wouldn't do, not at all. 

"Ohayou, Kenshin!" She clamped her hand onto his shoulder, and the pair separated. Actually, it was closer to Kaoru wrenching him out of the other woman's grip, but whatever worked. He scrambled backwards, panting. "Oro..." he turned, eyes meeting Kaoru's. "Kaoru-dono." His tone was desperate, that of one caught between a rock and a hard place. Or rather, a hard fist, in this case. She would pound him good for this one, oh yes-- 

/Kenshin was worth giving up violence./ 

. . . 

Now that just wasn't fair. 

"Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin repeated, lowering his guard from where he had braced himself for impact. 

Slowly, painfully, Kaoru unclenched her fist and pried her fingers off of his shoulder, giving a smile that barely reached her lips, much less her eyes. "Kenshin. I see you have a guest." 

Rubbing the back of his head nervously, he gave an apologetic smile. "Ah.. hai. Guest. Yes. Um, this is," 

"Tanimura Moemi," the woman piped, flipping mahogany locks over her shoulder. "Himura-sama and I go a ways back, ne? I figured I would come down for a visit." She turned more towards him, an innocently playful smile on her face. "I hope I haven't been too... -forward- in my introduction. It's been a long time." 

"Of course," Kenshin replied, still looking ill-at-ease. 

"So," Kaoru piped up, hopeful. "This is who, your older sister?" 

Moemi laughed unpleasantly. "I'm not quite family yet," she chuckled coyly. "Now, little miss, I don't believe we've been introduced. You're what, Himura-sama's baby cousin?" 

Baby? Cousin? -Baby-? 

"No," she snapped, "I'm Kamiya Kaoru, the woman Kenshin lives with." 

The brunette paused a minute, looking from Kenshin to Kaoru, then smiling again. "And what an interesting life it must be," the woman oozed. They exchanged a pointed look, sizing each other up. She was older, that was the first thing Kaoru noticed. But she wore her age quite well -- maybe not as young looking as Kenshin, but far from matronly. She wore a simple but beautiful burgundy and navy kimono, the dark colors emphasizing her pale skin. Large, almond-shaped emerald eyes peered from hooded lids. Her lips were red and full; pouty, one might say. 

Kaoru immediately felt self conscious of her quick ponytail and worn, off-white training gi. She hadn't planned to have to impress him this early in the day! No, don't panic, she could do this. Think calm. Think positive. 

"Ano," Kenshin began. 

"Yes, Kenshin?" Kaoru barked. See? Calm. Sortof. 

"Yes, Himura-sama?" Moemi asked, tone amiable. 

The man blanched, but continued. "I was about to... er, it's time for..." He took a breath. "Would you care to join us for breakfast?" He sneaked a pleading look at Kaoru. Her eyes narrowed further. All right, screw positive. There -would- be a good explanation for this. Or else. 

"Certainly," Moemi said, gliding closer to Kenshin. "Anything for you, Himura-sama. I appreciate the consideration." 

Kaoru appreciated the self-control of her sphincter, for keeping her from vomiting. 

"I'll start the rice then." Kenshin attempted a smile, gaining some momentum now that he was back in familiar territory. 

The woman looked dismayed. "-You're- doing the cooking?" She failed to conceal a disapproving glance at Kaoru. 

"Well, it's only fair, since I'm boarding with Kaoru-dono. Plus, I'm a better--" 

"Don't worry, Kenshin, I'll get it today." Kaoru really could have killed him. He didn't have to bring up relative cooking abilities. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Positive. This'll give you and your friend some time to get a little closer." If that's physically possible, she muttered. 

"Ah... all right," Kenshin said, nodding. Kaoru actively paid him no notice as she turned towards the house, stumbling over the still-overturned washbucket. She lifted it, and if as she tossed it over her shoulder it happened to bean Kenshin directly in the head, that really didn't count as violence in her opinion, so it worked out.

+ + +

Kaoru bustled through the kitchen, practically throwing things onto plates and bowls. She -could- cook -- she'd done it for a good ten years. Never mind the fact that Father had arranged most of the meals... 

She'd show them all. An easy, traditional breakfast. Rice -- oops, a little burnt. Salmon -- no, they'd eaten the last of it last week. Then, just pickles -- but she couldn't get the jar open. And the tea! She rushed to put water on. The miso had clumped into one large ball, and refused to powder into soup. "How does Kenshin -do- this?" She kicked out in frustration, surprised when her foot ran into flesh. 

"Oi, oi, Jou-chan... what's the big idea?" Sagara Sanosuke stood before her, eyes lidded in a dark grimace. 

"Sano! Eh... I didn't see you there." The girl sweatdropped slightly, then changed, narrowing her eyes. "What are you up so early for?" 

"Can I not visit my favorite dojo in Tokyo without being beaten or given the third degree? Visitors get so little consideration," he sniffed. 

"Talk to Kenshin if you want someone overly friendly to visitors -- he enjoys getting close to strangers." 

"Eh?" he grunted in question. He peered after her as she began brutally spooning the less burnt portion of the rice into a large bowl. "Jou-chan... something bugging you?" 

The girl stopped, looking at Sano like he was having troubles grasping some elementary concept... which, incidentally, he was. "No, not at all," she said, sarcasm dripping from every pore. "Open this," she commanded, thrusting the jar of pickles at him. He complied, silently for once. This would blow over. She could deal with this. Food soothed the savage beast, or something like that, right? Now that she'd made this spectacularly tasty breakfast, Kenshin would have no choice but to see that she was all the woman he needed. 

"What was that?" Sano asked. 

She blushed, realizing she had been speaking at least some of that aloud. "Shut up and take this," she snapped, shoving a tray of food into his hands. Grabbing the tea, she stalked out of the kitchen, vowing to find the truth, so there would be some justification to her previous lack of violence. 

In the dining room, the other three were already seated around the table, Moemi next to an uncomfortable Kenshin, while Yahiko sat across from the pair. They were engaged in light conversation primarily about Yahiko's fighting ability, while Kenshin deferred commenting and Moemi acted politely interested. 

"Okay, food's ready!" Kaoru interrupted, plopping her tray on the table. Sano followed, albeit markedly less fiercely, and sat next to Kenshin. Barely masking a scowl, she kicked the white clad man over and sat next to him. 

Moemi looked from her to the empty side of the table. "What's wrong?" 

Feeling her face redden, Kaoru struggled for an excuse. "That's... that's for..." 

Pattering feet. 

"Ken-niichan! Where are you?" 

It was Ayame and Suzume, Dr. Genzai's charges. Never before had Kaoru been so happy to see the little moochers... 

"Ayame-chan, Suzume-chan. Please, sit down." She indicated the empty space. "How is Genzai-sensei?" 

"He's out on house call. Said we could visit." 

"Who's Ken-niichan's friend?" 

"Who indeed?" Kaoru muttered. 

Giving a polite, half-lidded smile, Moemi introduced herself again. 'That wasn't quite the answer to the question, was it,' Kaoru thought, passing round tea. 

"So, Tanimura-san. What brings you here?" Sano asked, idly piling rice into a bowl. 

"Well, I'm from Izumo. While out on travels some years ago, I met with a brilliant man, handsome, intelligent, skilled. Himura-sama." She turned to Kenshin, who looked back blankly. 

"Sano? The rice?" Yahiko asked. 

"Oh," he said, finally noticing his bowl was filled to overflowing. "Long night." 

"Tea?" Suzume begged. 

"Miso!" Ayame declared. 

"Miso," Suzume agreed. 

Only slightly daunted by the lack of interest in her story, Moemi continued. "So... that time, you made me a promise, and now I'm here to collect." She turned, gazing at Kenshin earnestly. "I'm here to become your wife." 

Silence fell like a dead body. Kaoru felt the world turning white. 

"Excuse me," a soft voice broke the silence. Kenshin. "I'm sorry, I have no recollection of this. When did this happen?" 

Her face tightened imperceptibly. "It was fourteen years ago today." 

"Oro?" They facefaulted, Yahiko spraying food from his mouth. 

"Yahiko-niichan, you've gotten Ken-niichan all wet," Ayame pointed out. 

The room was silent for two beats, then three. There was an audible plop as partially-chewed rice fell to the table. Moemi smiled benignly. Ayame and Suzume beamed back. Kaoru and Sano sat stonefaced. Yahiko's eyebrows raised, mouth in an 'o'. Kenshin blinked slowly, lips pursed. 

"So, Moemi-neesan and Ken-niisan are gonna get married?" Ayame blinked cutely. 

"Married!" Suzume echoed. 

"No," Kenshin, Kaoru and Yahiko objected simultaneously. Kaoru noticed her voice was noticeably more forceful than the others', and reddened slightly. 

"Tanimura-dono, I'm afraid I can't consent to this," he said, shaking his head. "I don't believe I've ever met you before..." 

Moemi frowned. "You don't remember?" 

Kenshin shook his head slowly, his thinking coming up blank. "No..." 

"Are you -sure-?" she pleaded. 

"..." He thought back harder...

+ + +

The boy with the sword frowned, what little faith in human kindness he held dropping by the minute. He was cold, probably sick, and-- 

*GROWL* 

... He clutched his stomach, embarrassed. 

"Hey oniisan, you okay?" 

He turned to see a girl with looks that could only be described as 'cute', offering him a rice ball. She smiled and introduced herself as he gobbled down the food. 

"I'm Tanimura Moemi." 

"Himura Kenshin," he said over a mouthful of rice.

+ + +

"Oh." Kenshin brightened somewhat. "Saa... that was a long time ago. Thank you again for helping me back then. 

"She and her mother nursed me back to health when I was sick," he explained for the benefit of the others. "How's your mother doing?" 

"She's fine," Moemi's smile became a little strained. "She's eager to see you again, for you to fulfill your promise." 

"Oro? Promise?" Kenshin repeated stupidly.

+ + +

Kenshin knelt before the child. "Yep, I'd better get going. Thanks for all your help." He gave an easy smile, trying to avert the trembling lip of the girl facing him. 

"Are you going to come back?" Moemi asked, face serious. 

"I'll try." 

"That's not good enough. Marry me?" 

"Maa..." the teen hedged, scratching his head. 

"Pleeese?" She looked into his eyes and blinked a few times cutely. 

"Uh..." He'd never see her again... If it made her happy for now, why not humor the kid? 

"Sure, whatever." He sweatdropped as she grabbed him in a bear hug.

+ + +

"Promise," Kenshin remembered stupidly. 

"Shoulda known something like that'd come back to bite you in the ass," Sano noted around a wide yawn. 

"Pretty precocious kid," Kaoru muttered. 

"He's got chicks he doesn't even remember..." Yahiko shook his head with admiration. "Kenshin is -such- the man." 

Ignoring the three, Moemi spoke straight to her 'prince'. "So, Himura-sama... are you ready? Come back with me, ne?" 

"M-maa..." the man hedged, scratching his head and looking furtively around the table. Kaoru turned away at his gaze. 

Moemi's eyes narrowed. "Or... you aren't already..." Her gaze sat firmly on Kaoru. 

"Oh -NO-! Of course not!" the pair said, arms raised in denial. 

"I'd never do such a thing," he laughed nervously. 

"Yes, and he's so -old-," Kaoru answered, somewhat pleased by his slight wince. He hadn't needed to be -that- assertive in his denial. Did he really have feelings for this woman? Had they really had a relationship, fourteen years ago? She bit her lip, eyes unable to avoid the sight of Moemi cuddling up to Kenshin like she owned him. And, as a small, perverse part of her stabbed, they looked rather comfortable together. 

Extricating her fingers from where she'd dug them into the tatami mat floor, she stood, shakily attempting a smile. "Let me clear the empty dishes, then." Kaoru began gathering people's dishes, full or not. After Yahiko hit her for trying to take the remnants of his breakfast, she drifted off into the kitchen without even a sharp word. 

After a brief exchange of glances, Sano rose and followed her.

+ + +

This couldn't be happening. Kaoru slammed the dishes onto the counter, into the washwater, back onto the counter. Her favorite bowl shattered, cutting open her hand, and she sank to the ground, giving a moan of frustration. How could she have thought she had a chance? How could a day beginning so well end up so wrong? 

"Jou-chan?" 

Immediately she stilled, wiping her face and quieting down to a held sniffling. She wanted to tell him to leave her alone, but no words came. Sano turned to her, face unreadable. Kaoru realized how pathetic she must look, curled in a ball in the corner. "I'm sorry," she said, a catch in her voice. She turned away, waiting for him to start teasing her. 

Instead, he was quiet, awkwardly putting his arms around her. "It isn't like you to be all depressed, so cheer up, okay?" 

At the gruff statement, she moved closer, turning it into a formal embrace. She allowed herself to be held by him, allowed a few tears to escape her eyes and sink into the warm fabric of Sano's coat. "Sano," she cried into his shoulder. 

"It'll be okay, Kaoru," he murmured, tentatively stroking her hair. "If there's anything you need, then, uh, yeah," he trailed, looking uncomfortable. 

Then the kitchen door opened, and they both looked up. Kenshin was standing with a tray of dishes, a frozen expression on his face. 

"Kenshin," they breathed simultaneously, Kaoru automatically pushing away from Sano, and he pulling her closer. 

"I just wanted to know if you were all right here in the kitchen, Kaoru-dono." 

The girl looked to Sano, still unsure of her voice. 

"We're -- uh, she's fine, I think," the teen mumbled, looking at her with -- tenderness? Kaoru weakly nodded. 

"Aa," Kenshin said. Dropping off the dishes, he quietly left. 

Sano and Kaoru watched as the kitchen door slid shut behind him. "That was rude," he sniped. 

"Sano..." She pounded him. "Baka. Let go of me." 

"Geez, guess you're better," he continued, rubbing his head. "I guess I'll just be going," he said loftily, brushing off his knees and stuffing his hands in his pockets. 

"Sano," she called after him. He looked back, and she dipped her head shyly. "Thanks." 

"No problem," he waved off. "You'll just owe me, it's okay." He grinned at her look. "Happy dishes." 

"Dish... wait!" The kitchen door slid shut once more. "Mou..."

+ + +

"See, while Kenshin -is- the man, and all chicks dig him, there's no way he could ever get married." Yahiko leaned forward, engrossed in his topic. "He's just too cool to settle down. With only one woman, anyway," he qualified with a conspiratorial wink. 

"So," he splayed his hands, "you see why even though you aren't that bad looking, I can't welcome you with open arms. Understand?" 

Moemi cocked her head and smiled. "Strangely enough, I do. No one should ever -have- to settle down, I think." 

He gave an odd look. "Then why are you making Kenshin get married?" 

"He's pretty settled already, don't you think?" She indicated the table the man had cleared with no prompting a few minutes earlier. 

"True. I don't understand all that washing stuff. But Kenshin could kick anyone's ass who complained about it, so I don't." 

"Yahiko," Kenshin said faintly. 

"Nan da--" The boy jumped, not having heard his approach. "Kenshin! I wasn't--" 

"Please watch the girls," he said absently. He left the boy as he beckoned to Moemi over the muffled sounds of commotion in the kitchen. 

"Tanimura-dono, let me escort you home."

+ + +

"That certainly was an... interesting meal," Moemi noted, hands clasped behind her back. 

Kenshin nodded, a troubled look on his face. At her questioning look, he snapped from his reverie. "Ah, yes," he finished lamely. Kenshin knew he ought to be paying attention to his guest, but he found his thoughts torn between unease at Moemi's appearance and marriage claim, and the ill looks Kaoru had been giving all morning. And, his imagination kept turning back to the look on Kaoru's face when he'd walked in on them in the kitchen. What all -had- he interrupted between Sanosuke and Kaoru? 

The man felt his stomach begin to tighten, and it wasn't because of Kaoru's cooking... not entirely, anyway. Some sixth sense, the one that had warned him so many times as the Hitokiri Battousai, the one he'd felt this morning before being... encountered by Moemi, the one that had increased drastically as he'd run into Kaoru and Sano, was coming on strong now. Something was going to happen, presumably something unpleasant for all parties involved, especially the one named 

"Himura-sama? Himura-sama, we turn here." 

Kenshin blinked a few times, looking back to the intersection Moemi indicated. Trotting back to meet her, he changed the focus of his brooding. 

This Tanimura had changed the status quo, and now the tenuous relationship he and Kaoru had built up was melting like wet tissue paper. The woman -did- seem to have a problem she wasn't telling him about, but he wasn't about to run off to Izumo with her, whether she had been nice to him as a kid or not. He would tell her now, before it got too complicated. 

"Tanimura-dono," he started. 

She looked crosswise at him, turning away once she had his attention. "You care for Kamiya-san," she commented, rather than asked. 

"She's been quite kind to me," the redhead replied, a smile touching at his lips. 

"She must have done something spectacular, for you to stay as her -- well, nanny almost, for no compensation," she pressed. 

"It's not--" Kenshin swallowed the remaining words, ignoring the jibe and realizing he had no real answer. "I just try not to be a burden," he said carefully. 

"But if you were to go, you wouldn't be a burden anymore, correct?" He turned to face the woman. Her eyes were face-forward, walking down the road. She walked just past him, then stopped as well, stance regal. "I had hopes, but I didn't really expect you to drop everything to honor a marriage agreement that's fourteen years old. I'll be returning to Izumo in ten days. I hope that by that time, you will be willing to come with me." 

"Tanimura-dono," he began. 

She shushed him with a hand. "I'll see you tomorrow, Himura-sama. Prepare yourself. I can be quite... convincing." Her smile was honey. She pressed close enough so he could tell her scent, rose petals and something else unidentifiable; she reached to him, almost brushing against his cheek, instead pushing a stray lock of hair out of his face. "Mata ashita, ne?" With a flip of red-brown hair, she was off. 

Flushing, Kenshin idly raised his hand to his cheek. He had watched her make it most of the way down the street and around the corner before realizing that he had neglected to tell her he had no intention of accepting his offer. Unfortunate... Kenshin sighed, finally turning with a shrug. He'd have another chance to see her; she'd promised as much. And, if worst came to worst, the woman was leaving in ten days. Surely, without encouragement, she'd go away without any trouble. That way, everyone could keep their dignity, and no one's feelings really had to be hurt. Yes, that would definitely be the simplest way, wouldn't it? 

The redhead actively ignored the black cat which crossed his path and the tie to his sandal that snapped almost immediately after the thought crossed his mind. Damned inauspicious symbols.

+ + +

Things were going definitely less than ideally, but Moemi had expected that. She wouldn't push him; that's why she gave him the day to think about it. It also gave her the day to plan. 

All she needed was a catch, someone close to him, an in to the group... 

An idea sprang to life, and she began to act on it.

+ + +

"Oi, Kenshin." The rough voice was inimitable. Kenshin turned to see the familiar lanky figure of Sano strolling towards him. Out of courtesy, he waited for the ex-gangster to catch up before resuming his walk down the street. "Nice night," Sano commented, hands in his pockets. 

"Mm," Kenshin nodded, not particularly encouraging. The pair continued in silence for a few strides until Sano began again. 

"What's up with this woman?" 

"Eh?" The slight man started, half expecting the question, half annoyed by its asking. He had gone on this walk to forget about Moemi for a while, not to plow through his all-too-temporary respite. "Woman?" He played dumb, hoping against hope that he would be asking about someone, anyone else. 

No such luck. "Tanimura Moemi. You and Tanimura Moemi. What do you think of her?" 

Kenshin pursed his lips, measuring his words. "When I met her before, she was a charming young girl, kind, friendly... enthusiastic." He paused, a small part of him rueing the day he ever decided to talk to her. "Now that she's grown, I'm sure she's the same. Determined." 

"You could say that. Attractive, isn't she?" 

He shrugged. "Lots of women are." 

"I heard about this morning," the teen grinned. "You seem to like the forward type." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"What are you all offended about? You like a take-charge sort of girl, one who'll lead you around, tell you what to do. Kinda like Jou-chan." 

"Oro?" Kenshin was glad it was dark, because he was sure he was blushing to his toes. "Kaoru-dono?" 

"Well, you like her, don't you?" 

Like her? If that meant he'd willingly spare his life to make her happy, he'd agree to menial tasks with abuse in return, he'd keep up a happy pleasant face instead of ever showing his real feelings, then yes, he liked her. He liked her a lot. But that was as far as it could ever go. For the Battousai, the cold, efficient, brutal killer, penance was wielding a sword to protect innocents. Penance did not include getting close to said innocents so that they might be hurt. Ignoring the fact that he already was too close, as conflicts with Jin-E and the Oniwabanshuu had already shown, he couldn't really afford to get any closer. He was unworthy to even bring up the idea of anything more. It was for her own good. For all of them. 

"It's not... like -that-," he lied. "I consider her a dear friend, and I hope I'm the same to her. I really don't see any need for anthing more." There, that sounded natural enough. 

"Really?" Kenshin couldn't tell if he was disbelieving or... eager. "So is that why you're hanging with this new woman?" 

"I-- No." The redhead sighed, an errant hand running through his bangs. "I'm sure that someday soon Kaoru will find someone to be happy with for the rest of her life." 

"Not you?" The voice was tinged with mocking. 

Kenshin shook his head, lost in thought. Not even something he would allow his mind to consider. "Not me." They were both silent, the dirt and rocks of the road crunching under their feet. 

Wait. Had he really sounded all that pathetic? Slipping his pleasant mask back into place, he turned to the younger man. "Why do you ask?" 

"No reason, no reason." Sano grinned smugly, a fishbone dangling from his lips. "Just was wondering, if it was -Jou-chan- who'd gotten a suitor, if you'd be feeling the same way." He seemed to glance idly at the shorter man, judging his reaction. Accordingly, Kenshin said nothing to hint at the turmoil that inexplicably sparked through his heart at the concept. "Well?" Sano urged. 

"Kaoru-dono must do what will make her happy. I will always support her in that." 

"Really." The tone was thoughtful now. He said no more, letting the silence sit until they reached a fork in the road, one which Sano did not turn at. 

"You're coming to the dojo?" Kenshin asked, hoping the answer would be no. 

"Ah? Looks like I am." 

"Oh," Kenshin commented. Why was he coming anyway? Hadn't he seen Kaoru and the others already today? ...Why did Kenshin even care? "Just because you were just there this morning, so I didn't think you'd be around for dinner," he commented, realizing he was sounding somewhat snippy. 

If Sano noticed, he made no visible sign. "Yeah, wanted to see Jou-chan for a sec. But if you're offering dinner..." 

"It's still Kaoru-dono's turn to cook." 

Sano grimaced. "Che, again?" 

"How can she improve if she doesn't practice?" he chided. "And she is improving. She's really not that bad." 

"Going to jail for ten years instead of being executed isn't 'that bad'. That doesn't mean I want to go." 

But it didn't seem to stop him from coming over, Kenshin noticed, scolding himself for feeling so sore about it. It wasn't a big deal. Sano ate with them all the time. It was kind of late now to start complaining over it. And there wasn't any reason to, anyway. Because it didn't bother him. No. Not at all. 

Kenshin frowned as Sano grumbled the whole way home.

+ + +

It had to be done; Kaoru had been preparing throughout the day for this, and so she ought to be ready. She was ready. 

She had no idea what to say. 

"So," Kaoru began. 

"So..." Sano waited. 

"Er... I need... yrhlrp," she mumbled, ducking her head and blushing slightly. 

"You need what? Once again, in Japanese this time." 

Kaoru's lips thinned at his mock-serious expression. She just knew that he understood exactly what she was trying to say, and was doing his best to give her a hard time. Infuriating little punk. "I need your help," she uttered stiffly. 

The teen affected a look of surprise. "My help? Whatever for, Jou-chan?" 

"You know what for!" she protested. 

He pretended to think for a second. "There's just some things Yahiko-chan's gonna have to find out for himself." 

"No!" she bit, face flaming. "With Kenshin! I need your help with Kenshin!" 

"Jou-chan, he already knows about the birds and the bees... I think." 

"You're loving this, aren't you." Kaoru scowled. 

"Yup," Sano grinned triumphantly. "So, let me make sure I've got this straight: little Kaoru-chan wants me to help her woo poor old Kenshin?" He reveled in the dirty look she gave him, returning a sunny smile. "And so the question: should I be true to males everywhere? or help little Kaoru?" 

"I'm not little," she growled. 

"Now you sound like Yahiko." 

"But I'm not! I'm not a child! I'm seventeen years old. My mother was married by the time she was my age, and I don't even have suitors to turn away. Why does everyone treat me like a child?" she cried, stamping her foot. 

"Maybe because you act like one," Sano noted, none-too-tactfully. "Think about it. You spend most of the day dressed in men's clothing. You fight all the time, you're violent, you eat like a pig, you're as graceless as a drowning rat... need I go on?" 

Kaoru's expression wavered between incensed and miserable. "What do -you- know?" she accused finally. 

"A lot, actually. Watching girls is a specialty of mine." 

She clenched her fists, then dropped them, useless, to her sides. "You're right. I'm just a child. One who'll never grow up or get what she wants." She turned away, forlorn. It had been stupid to think he would really help her, just because he'd acted nice earlier. 

Sano's face softened. "Hey, hey, I didn't say you weren't salvageable. For some unknown reason, Kenshin's put up with you all this time. That's not for nothing." He raised her chin to look at him, giving a crooked smile. "No worries, Jou-chan. The one and only Sagara Sanosuke is on the case. I will remake you. You will be irresistable. The Sagara charm cannot be stopped, and it can even work for you." 

"Why does this sound like you're trying to sell me something?" 

"Hush," he commanded, holding up a hand. "You begged for my help, and now you're complaining?" 

"'Beg' is a strong word," Kaoru began, but he would have none of it, still holding up a hand as he turned from her. 

"Don't talk to me, ungrateful. If that's how it's gonna be," he sniffed, mock offended. 

Kaoru rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She found herself smiling despite herself. "See you tomorrow then." 

"Only if Kenshin's cooking," he returned. 

"Stick it in your ear, roosterboy." 

The ex-gangster made a rude gesture, grinning at her disapproving flush, and left, slouching past where Kenshin was finishing the laundry in the yard, and down the street. 

What a rude, lewd, uncouth... idiot. And she had just put him in charge of planning her romantic conquest of Kenshin... "Kaoru no -baka-," she moaned, falling back onto the tatami. 

+ + +

Looking carefully both ways before crossing, the mysterious figure crept over to his watching place on the fence to the Kamiya grounds. Peering through a knot in the fence, he was pleased to see Kenshin crouched over his washtub with a markedly different expression on his face and in the line of his shoulders than earlier this morning. Something obviously had gone wrong for the Battousai today, and that could only be a good thing. A preview of things to come.

"You think you're miserable now, Battousai? Well, this is just a taste of the hell you'll be feeling when I'm done with you! Bwah-hahaha-erk."

"Hey, get out of here," a short man said, throwing the mysterious figure out of the way. Judging the results of a conflict between the two men who had appeared behind him and himself, the mysterious figure wisely scurried away, peeping from a corner.

The tiny man peered through the knot as well, then looked to his tall companion. "Doesn't look so good. Perfect time for us to make our move, right?" The tall man made no discernable reply, but the short one grinned anyway. "Yosh! Tomorrow then." And the pair walked off, beaning the mysterious figure on the head as they passed. His second-to-last thought before surrendering to unconsciousness was that he'd have to make his move for the Battousai before these newcomers did. His last thought was 'owie'.

+ + +

Kenshin noticed none of this, focusing again on the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He really, really shouldn't let Kaoru cook again anytime soon.

+ + +

tbc.  


**notes**  
+ What? Characterization? What's that?  
+ No really, traditional Japanese breakfast is rice and pickles and salmon and miso and stuff. No, not the pickles you put on your hamburger; pickled radish and ginger and other stuff. Tastier, IMHO. No Cheerios in the 1870s, unfortunately for Kaoru (or rather, for those who had to eat her breakfast).  
+ I think Sano turned into my brother towards the end... O___o  
+ 'About A Girl' is a song by Nirvana, but I'm thinking about the Cibo Matto cover...

**next**  
Hey, this is Yahiko. Here's what's happening next episode. Kenshin's gonna do more angsting over Kaoru and Sano... like the old hag would -ever- have a date. I don't see what Kenshin sees in her. Anyway, ol' roosterhead gives out his dating advice, and it probably won't work. The mysterious figure sends Kenshin a challenge -- finally, something interesting going on. And the hag finally gets to hit someone. Wait a minnit, it'd better not be me. All of it, or most of it anyway, in chapter two, Bad Communication. Look forward to it, or something like that.


	2. Tobasco

**[previous]**

Kaoru was preparing for a regular day at the dojo when she found newcomer Tanimura Moemi giving Kenshin a very warm hello. Turns out that fourteen years back, she had gotten Kenshin to agree to marrying her, and now she was here to collect. The dojo denizens don't quite agree with her actions, but Kenshin has yet to find a way out of his position. Needless to say, Kaoru is unhappy, and in an arguably incredibly ridiculous move, has gotten Sano to help her catch Kenshin for herself. Oh yeah, and there's a mysterious figure trying to best the Hitokiri Battousai. But then, it's a Kenshin story -- you probably had already figured that part out.

+ + +

The day dawned bright and early, and Kaoru felt fresh as a daisy as she began her day. Now was time for planning... Sano had promised not only to help her impress Kenshin with a fancy dinner, but to actually -pay- for it. Maybe she should turn the waterworks on more often... But what to eat, what to eat? "Shabu-shabu, perhaps?" she pondered to herself, almost drooling just at the idea. But no, she needed something she could look adult and sophisticated eating, and she was likely to just start cramming the tasty stewed meat into her mouth. Maybe something foreign? 

"What are you writing, Kaoru-dono?" 

She turned, smiling. "Hi, Kenshin! It's..." How was the best way to phrase it? "It's a surprise for someone special," she said coyly, feeling herself blush despite herself. Ooh, that one sounded good. Kenshin reacted appropriately, looking a little surprised and (she hoped) jealous. It was him, silly! Oh, this was fun. "What are your plans for the day?" 

He started, looking down, then his eyes crinkling in that cute way they did when he said something he felt was unimpressive. "Not much. I'm going to the market, if you would like to come along." 

Score! That was almost like a date. Kaoru ignored the fact that they went to market together at least once a week. She was busy crowing that it was -her- he asked, and not that Tanimura hag. But mature women weren't overeager, so she schooled her face into an almost bored expression, playing it cool. "Sure, nothing else to do. I'll get cleaned up, and we can go in an hour?" 

Kenshin paused, then nodded. "Then, I'd better get started on the laundry." He smiled, then wandered off. 

That was odd. Kenshin had seemed... distracted. He ought to have been grateful he had someone as beautiful as she to run errands with. "Well, whatever," she decided, turning back to her list. Food... 

"You're drooling, hag," Yahiko noted, walking past. 

"Wha?" Kaoru surreptitiously wiped at her mouth and threw her brush, easily missing the boy's spiky head. Jumping up, she ran after him, the unfinished shopping list abandoned in the yard.

+ + +

** Let's Get Serious**  
a Rurouni Kenshin fanfic by Erin Ellis  
** Chapter Two: Tobasco**

Kenshin saw the scrap of paper lying on the ground, abandoned writing brush lying on the walk nearby. Someone would have to clean that up. "Anou, Kaoru-dono?" Silence; Kaoru must have already gotten into the furo. Padding to the edge of the walk, he reached down and lifted the sheet of paper, examining it curiously. It was unfinished and slightly crumpled, an abandoned lingering brush stroke simply begged him to open and see what it was. Actually, he knew what it was before he even moved towards it; her 'surprise' for 'someone special'. And if that wasn't an invitation to read it, he didn't know what was. 

"Kaoru-dono," he called again, a little bit louder. Still no answer. He folded the paper resolutely, and rested, the folded note inbetween his palms. It really wasn't right to go snooping into someone's personal correspondence, even if they had left said personal correspondence lying on the ground like trash. 

...What if it really -was- trash? Then it wouldn't really matter whether or not he looked at it. And it wouldn't have been abandoned if she had still wanted it, right? The redhead unfolded the paper, not entirely able to repress some perverse part of his mind from creating impossible fantasies of Kaoru's special person being him. 

Kenshin immediately wished that he had just thrown away the paper, burned it, even left it on the ground, loathsome as litter was. There wasn't much to the note, just a couple words scrawled in Kaoru's handwriting. 

/Sano-- I need/ 

That was all. He was overreacting. It didn't matter if she wrote Sano a letter. It didn't matter if she wrote Sano a letter asking him for something when he himself had asked her if he could do anything for her earlier that day. It didn't matter if the borders of the paper she wrote Sano a letter on were filled with doodles of hearts and little love triangle/arrow shapes. It didn't matter because he didn't care about that sort of thing because it didn't mean anything. Nothing at all. 

Kenshin pleasantly walked off, miniscule pieces of paper in a small pile next to the brush on the walkway. Someone would have to clean that up.

+ + +

Elsewhere, a mysterious figure plotted. It had been a long time, but Himura Kenshin must die. Or at least feel a lot of pain. The figure smiled. He would challenge Himura, defeat him, then... Okay, he wasn't sure quite what he'd do then. Probably gloat and laugh maniacally for a bit. For now, he limited himself to an evil smile, as last time they'd kicked him out of the inn for disturbing the other guests. 

The figure pondered the items before him: a sheet of rice paper, and a small dagger. A message was needed to alert Himura to his challenge. A mysterious message. Nicking his finger on the knife, he waited as the blood welled into a sizable drop, then placed it on the paper. 

'Himura Battousai.' 

The figure frowned. What appeared on the paper was barely legible -- more a large reddish smudge than Chinese characters. Writing in blood was difficult, he decided. But if that was what was necessary for the image... 

He put his finger to the paper again. 

And waited. 

And waited. 

And sweatdropped. He'd forgotten what he wanted to say...

+ + +

Moemi was stalking them. She knew it, Kaoru knew it, Kenshin would have known it if he wasn't so impossibly clueless. Instead, he just followed as Kaoru dragged him from shop to shop, more than once abandoning their purchases to flee harm's -- or at least, Moemi's -- way. It was unnecessary to note that her good mood from the early morning had vanished. 

"Anou, Kaoru-dono?" He looked at her owlishly from underneath a piece of fabric she'd 'accidentally' knocked over him on the latest Moemi sweep. Turning to where Kenshin lay, peeping out of the fabric like a shy kitten, Kaoru softened, crouching down and reaching to brush her hands through his hair-- er, to help untangle him from the bolts of fabric. Ah, yeah. 

"Yes, Kenshin?" 

"Forgive me for presuming, but is it me, or do you seem to be more clumsy today? And, we seem to be passing a lot of different shops -- are we ever going to get our errands run?" 

Kaoru's hand tightened, incidentally clenching into Kenshin's shoulder. The little... He probably wanted to hurry and get rid of her so that he could find Moemi. Well, if he'd rather spend time with the old bat, then so be it. She didn't need him anyway. 

"Why don't you finish the shopping yourself, then," she didn't snap. Instead, she took a deep breath, repeating what had almost become a mantra: I am mature. I am sophisticated. 

Then, she remembered something else, a certain promise. And almost immediately, her face fell. "Darn it-- I forgot to give Sano--" she broke off, finally mindful of her audience. There was no way she could let Kenshin know of Sano's 'help'. 

"What?" Kenshin asked, voice peculiar. "Forgot what?" 

"Nothing," she said, walking away. "Let's go home." She turned back; he wasn't following her. "Kenshin?" Her tone was sharper than intended, but she knew that Moemi was around. She would not lose him today. "Coming?" 

After a pause, he nodded and followed.

+ + +

But in the end they were stopped by Moemi anyway. 

"Tanimura-dono," Kenshin greeted brightly. Too brightly. 

"Himura-sama," she called, coming up to him and smiling demurely. "Kamiya-san," she added with a clipped nod. "Funny meeting you here." 

"Funny, it looked a lot like you were waiting here for him," Kaoru couldn't resist sniping. 

"Oh no, Kamiya-san," the woman said, voice dripping. "Being from the North, sometimes I need to take a break from the city. Everyone here is so -uncouth-." 

Kaoru decided that a small scowl would not be too immature. 

"Oh, might I have a word with Himura-sama?" Moemi asked, voice sickly sweet. She looked pointedly at Kaoru. 

"Go ahead," the girl said, not even especially belligerent. 

The woman's eyes narrowed. "Alone?" 

Wha-a-t? Wide eyed, she turned to Kenshin. His face was sympathetic, but he gave a little nod. Clenching her fists, she stomped a few paces away, crossing her arms. How dare she! To speak to her like she were some child still in diapers. 

"Whatcha sulking about now?" Sano drawled, clapping a hand on her shoulder. 

"Wh-- what do you think you're doing?" she squeaked, knocking his arm away. "You just scared ten years off my life sneaking around," she sulked. 

The spiky-haired gangster shrugged. "Wasn't sneaking, really. You just weren't paying attention." He thumbed towards where Kenshin and Moemi were talking. "Why are they over there, and you're over here?"

She growled deep in her throat, and was somewhat pleased to feel Sano take a step back. "Later, Sano," she sighed. 

"All right, Jou-chan," he said, giving her arm a quick squeeze. She shot a look after him, but he just grinned, sauntering off. 

She rolled her eyes, unable to stay angry for some reason. Oh, he was going to buy her food, that was probably it. Mmm, food. 

Kenshin finally returned, an apologetic look on his face. "Everything all right?" 

"Peachy," she said, mocking a cheery smile. "What'd she want?" 

Kenshin's pause was a little too long to be natural. "Nothing. Just saying hello." 

"Big fan of those pleasantries," Kaoru muttered. Something about this niggled at her. She looked past him; Moemi had not followed, but hadn't left either. Expression mildly paranoid, Kenshin turned as well. Moemi smiled and winked, blowing a kiss in his direction. Kaoru repressed the urge to gag. She -did- grab his ear when Kenshin spent a little too long watching the woman walk away. 

"Pervert," she muttered, dragging him back to the dojo.

+ + +

Kenshin didn't really know why he was feeling so irritated and embittered. It probably had to do with his new plans for the evening: spending time with Moemi, instead of defending Kaoru from Sano. But he needed to straighten things out with Moemi. To make sure that she knew that nothing was going to happen. ...And that was why he was going to her place for her to cook him a meal. 

Besides, Kaoru had already decided to spend time with the boy. He had found her lov-- her letter to Sano this morning. She must have forgotten to finish it. But what other purpose would there be in writing a letter to someone you see almost every day? 

Kenshin lowered the knife before he finished chopping the cutting board into little splintery bits. That's when the challenge arrived, the kunai whizzing a hairsbreadth from his face. At the last minute, the swordsman raised his blade, impressively skewering the kunai in midair. Or at least, that was the plan; instead, the chintzy cleaver snapped, knocking the tip of the knife into Kenshin's lap and spiraling the kunai into the air. He scrambled out of the way of the knife, the flat of the kunai hit him in the head, and he dropped to the ground. 

That's where Yahiko found him an hour later, literally stumbling over him in an attempt to grab some lunch. 

"Geez, Kenshin, what are you doing in the middle of the floor?" The man's head lolled a bit, but he made no coherent reply. Shrugging, Yahiko grabbed a bowl of rice, garnished with a handful of the vegetables currently browning on the cutting board (he picked out the wood chips) for lack of any other foodstuff. Coming to where the redhead was still sprawled across the kitchen, the boy frowned. "Come on, Kenshin, you're in the way." 

"Yakko?" he mumbled, continuing with a slurred, incoherent stream of words. 

"Uh, like whatever," the boy said, not wanting to get into conversation. Most likely Kenshin'd lost a fight with the hag, and he would rather not have the same happen to him. "I'll... uh... see you later." He stepped over the man again, making his way out of the kitchen, when a flash of something caught his eye. A piece of paper tied to a kunai was embedded in the wall. Curious, Yahiko carefully unfolded the paper. 

"'Himura Battousai,'" he read for the barely conscious man. "Cool, it's written in blood!" There was a large red blotch, then the writing continued, this time in ink. "'Himura Battousai. I have lived with your disgrace for too long. Meet me where the full moon shines on the scales.' Yes!" He turned to Kenshin, kicking him slightly to urge him to turn in his direction. "It's been like weeks since the last time someone tried to challenge you. It's about time something interesting happened around here." 

"Y-Yahiko," Kenshin tried again, raising an arm. 

"Yo, let me know when you're going to meet this guy, 'cause I want to see you kick his ass." Yahiko began to shovel food into his mouth, letting bits of rice as well as the challenge flutter to the ground, resting lightly on Kenshin's chest. "Sweet! I've gotta go tell everyone," he grinned through carrots, running out of the room. 

Another challenge. Just what he needed to make the day complete. 

"Ororo..."

+ + +

She was completely engrossed, about to get to the most difficult part of her kata -- so it was definitely the best time to interrupt. "Oi, Jou-chan! Didja find out what the woman wanted?" 

Kaoru literally jumped, startled. "Sano? Mou... Is all you do skulk around?" 

"I come in to see how my plan is working, the fruit of my labors, and this is what I get. Figures," he said, shaking his spiky head and plopping down on the walk near her. 

The girl cocked an eyebrow. "I don't know that you've labored at all, since I certainly haven't seen any fruit. Don't think I've forgotten about your promise." 

"Miserly girl like you, of course I didn't think you'd forget." She shot him a dirty look, to which he smirked. "Just was hoping you wouldn't remember." 

"Oh no. I am quite looking forward to your meal, oh master chef." She grinned, the cat who ate the canary. 

"Whatever, whatever." Man, he wished he hadn't promised that. Distaste over actually spending money aside, he really wasn't much of a cook. Of course, compared to Kaoru, you didn't need to be much. "You ever figure out what you wanted?" 

"Of course," she said haughtily. "I've got a list--" She stopped, a confused frown creasing her face. 

"Well?" Sano asked, playful. "Probably drooled all over the paper, and are ashamed to give it to me." 

"That's not true!" she cried, the slight blush over her cheeks telling that he was close. 

"Right," he nodded, grinning infuriatingly. 

"Well... well," she blustered. She might have been all right in kendo, but conversationally, she was not much for thinking on her feet. "Make it something sophisticated and mature. I'm sure you can find something, even though those words seem to be the opposite of you." 

"And you insult me, even as I offer charitable assistance." he said, waving a hand. "The things I do for you." 

The dark-haired girl sniffed in return. "Only because I deserve them." They stared each other down for a few beats, shared pretentious looks dissolving into laughter. "Okay, okay, really, what are you going to make? I'm excited now, I want to watch." 

"Che, watch?" He'd been planning on picking up something from the Akabeko. Tae would float a tab if he could prove it was for Kaoru and not just him. Of course, not if she thought he was supposed to be actually cooking... 

Kaoru's face darkened, voice sharpening. "Well?" 

"Okay, okay, calm down," Sano sniped. "Why don't you show me what you have, and I'll tell you what we can make." 

"Oh, all right." All smiles now (kamisama, but women were temperamental), Kaoru led the way to the kitchen. "Well, I know we don't have much, but I think we can whip up something pretty tasty..." She trailed off, noting the somewhat dazed swordsman sautéeing vegetables at the stove. "Kenshin?" 

"Oro?" The man turned slowly, a bump on his head and an expression on his face like a child with his hand caught in the cookie jar. 

"What are you doing?" She seemed more confused than angry, though Sano had a funny feeling that wouldn't last for long. 

"Making dinner?" he attempted. 

Here was where Sano had a choice: either to cover for Kenshin, or to let Kaoru know what was going on. "Jou-chan got you making food even today? Sheesh." Sorry, Ken. 

The redhead looked to him, somewhat irritatedly. "It's not for Kaoru-dono. It's for--" And there he stopped, expression now like a child in the face of a rampaging carriage. 

Nope, it hadn't taken very long at all for Kaoru to get angry. 

Turned out Moemi's 'nothing' was actually an invitation to dinner, and, polite man that Kenshin was, he was cooking up a dish to share. How special. 

Unsurprisingly, this didn't sit especially well with Kaoru. 

So, plan A was a bust. At least it meant he didn't have to buy dinner, so it wasn't a total wash.

+ + +

The mysterious figure perched high above Tokyo, his view a fantastic survey of the city. There was no way he'd miss Himura today. He knew Himura had read the challenge. He knew Himura didn't turn down challenges. Usually. 

That uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach began again. He'd waited for Himura for a good three hours now. It was getting late and he was feeling airsick. Himura's people were all educated, so that was no excuse... (Really, there was nothing more embarrassing than delivering a challenge note to someone who couldn't read Japanese. The singing messengers he'd sent instead just weren't the same.) 

The mysterious figure ground his teeth. This was just Himura's way of toying with him. He stood, brandishing a fist. Battousai would -never- get the better of... erk. In a not-so-mysterious fashion, the figure windmilled, trying to regain balance and not fall off the roof. Sitting again, he settled deeper into the crook of the rooftops, deciding to stay calm. Himura -would- come tonight. But just in case... He pulled out a book.

+ + +

Kenshin gave a slightly nervous look, then knocked on the door. "Tanimura-dono? Himura de gozaru." The sliding door to her flat was standing slightly open, and peeking inside, the man could glimpse the sitting room table set for two. He winced slightly. 

"Come on in," Moemi's voice floated in from a back room. 

Kenshin entered. "I'm sorry to impose on you like this." 

"It's no trouble at all," she called, the sound of clacking pot lids introducing a tasty smell that wafted from the kitchen. "I hope you brought your appetite; I made a lot." 

"Well, he certainly did." 

"Eh?" Slowly, she poked her head into the room. Kenshin gave her a weak smile. Standing (rather close) next to him, Kaoru beamed, and behind them both, Sano waved. At the sight of her 'guests', Moemi's eyes narrowed briefly, and Kenshin could swear he felt the temperature drop. "In that case, I hope you -aren't- too hungry." And that was that. No protests or even an accusing look at Kenshin or the unexpected visitors. Maybe everything would work out smoothly. ...And maybe Kenshin would be crowned emperor in the next few minutes. 

Moemi entered the room proper, wearing an apron with her hair tied back with a kerchief. Face perfectly composed, she spoke. "Excuse my cooking attire, I'm not quite finished. About the meal, I'm afraid I may not have quite enough food... I wish I had known I'd be having extra guests. 

Kenshin's face flushed red for an instant. Wasn't like he'd invited them along... 

"Tanimura-san, it's not much, but we brought something," Kaoru began, trying hard to look penitent and mostly failing miserably. "I don't know if it is very good, but please accept it." She pushed forward a covered dish. 

"I'm sorry for putting you through the trouble." 

"Oh, it was no trouble," she demurred, genuine embarrassment on her face now. 

"That's 'cause Kenshin did all the cooking," Sano added under his breath, which was still loud enough to be heard by everyone in the room. 

Again, to her credit, Moemi did no more than a moment's reproachful look -- though whether it was directed at Kaoru or Sano wasn't clear -- and her expression returned to one of demure innocence. "Thank you," she said, taking the dish and whisking it into the kitchen. I will be finished in a few minutes. Please amuse yourselves until then." 

"We sure will," Sano replied brightly. He was the recipient of two dirty looks. "What?"

+ + +

Butting her way into Kenshin's date was one of those ideas that seemed a lot better before you actually had to live through them. Mainly because her and Sano's appearance really hadn't seemed to put a dent in any of Moemi's plans. So, instead of staying at home and stewing about what -might- be happening, Kaoru had to sit in front of them and see exactly what was happening. And what was happening was an awful lot of overly friendly interaction, both conversationally and physically, as well as quite a few just-this-side-of-snide comments, mostly directed at herself. A firm hand on her kimono (Sano's, unfortunately) had kept her from leaping at the woman more than once during the meal. The food had looked quite delicious (despite Sano's claims of splinters in the vegetables), but Kaoru had been unable to really eat anything, spending most of the time either repeating her mantra of calmness, or clenching trenches into the tatami mats. 

"Gochisou-sama!" Sano stretched, picking at his teeth with a piece of straw. "I'm stuffed. Thanks, lady," he grinned to Moemi's annoyance. 

"Yes, thank you, it was a wonderful meal," Kenshin smiled, automatically gathering the empty dishes. 

"You don't need to do that," Kaoru and Moemi objected simultaneously. The women eyed each other, upset at the other's outburst. 

Kenshin continued, seemingly oblivious. "Tanimura-dono was so kind to cook, she shouldn't have to clean as well." At that, Kaoru's face started blazing. He knew that both dishes and cooking were Kenshin's appointed duty. Did he just say that to spite her? 

"Here, I know that I'm just an uninvited guest; I'll do them." The tone was sweet. She was getting better at this lying thing. Kaoru scooped the bowls into her arms and stood, opening the door to the kitchen. 

"Ara-- That's the closet, Kamiya-san." Moemi gracefully stood, gently guiding the girl to the correct door. How patronizing. Kaoru entered the tiny kitchen, dropping the bowls into the washtub, which had thankfully already been filled with water. Turning to get the rest, she ran into Moemi, bustling with more dishes. 

"The rest of them," she explained, somehow seeming haughty in those few words. 

"I'll take care of them," Kaoru returned, just as clipped. "You should get back to your guests." 

"It would be impolite to leave a guest alone in my kitchen." 

The girl's mouth continued without her. "I'm surprised you aren't grabbing these minutes to be alone with Kenshin. I'm sure you wouldn't have minded being alone with him in your kitchen." Good going, Kaoru, -that- was mature. 

Moemi laughed, a dark echo of her vapid giggles during the meal. "Your feeble attempts at comebacks are amusing, but time-consuming, and time is something I cannot afford to squander." The brunette's eyes were liquid green slivers, voice cold calculation. "What business do you have with Himura-sama? Since you've said that you weren't in any sort of relationship with him, then I think you need to give up whatever imagined claim you have over him." 

"Excuse me for having an interest in the affairs of those who live in my household. An apple picker must be wary of rotten fruit that could spoil the bunch." 

"Please. You know that we have no desire to become friends. I knew you were my rival from the start. No matter; your lolicon charm is not going to win him over, you know." 

Lolicon? 

"Himura-sama needs a strong woman, who can guide and support him. He won't have anything to do with a needy little girl. That's why I'm not worried. You've lost already." 

Oh- my- goodness. The gauntlet was thrown. Kaoru's face twisted, fingers biting into her palms. 

"What's the matter, little sister, cat got your tongue?" 

With effort, she unclenched her teeth. "My father always told me that if you didn't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all." 

The woman laughed, a short barking sound. "Your father isn't here, little girl." 

The world stopped. Kaoru's mouth opened, then shut again. Heat pricked at her eyelids, and she felt herself go very white, her fluttering hands go very still. Moemi's demeanor might have faltered slightly, but Kaoru didn't notice. 

"No, he's not," Kaoru said, voice impossibly calm and soft. Slowly lifting her hands from the tub, she dropped them to her sides. "I have to go now," she said, not raising her head. And she had to escape, had to get out before she lost control in front of that-- It was stifling, and she threw open the fusuma, stumbling past the others, finally out of the room, out of the building. She could run now, get to safety. 

How dare she! How dare she speak of her father, even in passing, with such scorn, such mocking! Kaoru's regret was that she had broken down before she could defend him. 

Heavy footsteps were approaching behind her; she slowed down. She did not want him, his comfort, but she would never outrun him, not like this. Now she let her tears fall. She had seen them as she'd left; Sano had risen and followed. Kenshin hadn't moved at all.

+ + +

"Jou-chan." 

No answer. 

"Kaoru," he called, louder. 

"Leave me alone!" came a muffled yell. Good. Angry meant she was getting back to normal. 

"But Jou-chan," Sano whined in just the tone of voice that would annoy her and compel her to check his progress. He settled down against the wall beside her room, waiting. The ex-gangster had gotten pretty good at figuring out how to coax Kaoru out of one of her moods. Yahiko said it was because he understood how to be just as stupid as she was; Sano's response was best not repeated in mixed company, but essentially countered that he was a sensitive, new-aged guy, well versed in the ways of women. 

She'd been in there for maybe a half-hour? Longer? She wouldn't come out, she wouldn't let him in... it was pretty infuriating, as he just wanted to find out what was wrong with her so he could go home. Actually, he would have just gone home, but he had promised Kenshin he'd see to her. Idly, Sano wondered if the swordsman was doing any better with Moemi. 

"Prolly wimped out," he muttered. 

"Who?" a higher voice wafted around the corner, quickly followed by the body of Yahiko. 

"Who what? Thought you were busy at work today." 

The boy sighed dramatically. "I got off like forever ago. Since no one was home, I went back and walked Tsubame home." 

"Ah, Yahiko-chan, such a Casanova. Following in my footsteps, I see," the teen grinned. 

He snorted. "Yeah, following them to see what way not to go. Why are you here?" Yahiko asked. 

"Why is she in there?" Sano replied, thumbing behind him. 

"After a while it's not even worth worrying about," he said tiredly. 

"Whatever," Sano shrugged, leaning back again as the boy wandered off. 

The muffled sounds he'd taken to be sobs had long stopped, followed by a low growl or muttering for a while. Then, silence. Kaoru was never silent. 

"Jou-chan? You okay in there?" 

Nothing. Sano was tense now, body poised for... uh... something. 

"Kaoru?" 

A dull thud. Then another, and another, following in quick succession. 

"What in the hell?" She wouldn't. She might. 

Sano threw open the fusuma, putting aside any respect of privacy or shame or whatever. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Kaoru shrieked. She was visible clutching a blanket to her chest, once the rather heavy book she'd thrown had been removed from his face. 

"What the hell do you think -you're- doing?" he cried, an angry, book-shaped bruise forming down his face. "You hit me!" 

"Of course I hit you, just like every pervert coming in to see me changing. Why are you in here anyway?" 

Sano did not blush, not being the type to be easily embarrassed, flustered, or any other sort of troublesome thing like that. "I was... I was worried, all right?" 

She gave a curious look, cocking her head. "Why?" 

"You were... everything... Just forget it," he said, disgusted. He would never understand women. 

"Sano," she called, voice soft. "About before. I'm fine now. You didn't have to... Thanks." She grinned, a fairly strong approximation of her usual sunny smile. 

"Hey, uh, no problem." Well, she certainly -seemed- like she was better. Maybe it was one of those chemical changiwhatzits those charts that Megumi kept buying for the clinic kept talking about. Anyway, Kaoru was a cute kid, especially when she smiled. And being half-naked as she was now certainly didn't hurt. Sano grinned slightly himself, enjoying the generous stretch of shoulder he was being treated to. Naked girls were always good, even if they were Kaoru. 

"Sano?" she said again, sweetly. 

"Mmm?" he grunted. "You wanna... you wanna talk, or something?" 

"Sure. But first, would you please get out of here so I can get dressed?!" This last was punctuated with a fist upside the head. 

"God damnit, woman!" But he turned and left the room. 

"I'd appreciate it if you would try to keep down the profanities," the raven-haired girl said loftily, padding onto the walkway, now dressed in a gi and hakama. "This is a respectable home." 

"Ah, so respectable that the old, unmarried mistress of the house goes around consorting with a group of unrelated men: a former assassin, a former gangster, and an ex-drug dealer, going so far as to live with one and together raise a surrogate child who was a former thief. -That- respectable?" 

She wrinkled her nose. "Nobody likes you." 

"I like me. That's all that really matters." He leaned back on the walkway, resting on his elbows. "Now, do you want to tell me what all that was about?" 

Kaoru sighed, resting her chin on her hands, her elbows on her knees. "Not really, no. But I will. 

"It wasn't much. It wasn't that bad. I probably overreacted. I did. I'm sure of it. But... She talked about him. She mentioned my father. And the way she did-- Gods, she doesn't deserve to mention him. Those weren't tears of sadness, they were tears of rage! 

"...It's been a long time since I've thought of him... -really- thought. It's not that I've forgotten -- I never could -- just that when I keep him too close, it-- hurts. I don't want it to hurt anymore. It's still-- that doesn't mean I love him any less, does it?" 

She looked at Sano, and her gaze could break your heart. He suddenly was painfully aware of how recently her father had been killed -- only months ago. Thinking of how long it had taken for him to get over Sagara-taichou... Looking straight at her, he spoke quietly but firmly, carefully choosing his words. "That's... that's something only you can answer. But I think you know the answer. And I think its something you don't have to worry about." He reached out and clasped her hand. After a brief moment, she returned the squeeze, unexpectedly folding into his arms. 

"I'd forgotten. You do understand. Sano... I think-- I--" 

"Shh," he silenced her, shaking his head. "I know. I do too. Never doubt that." She nodded against him, strangely not pulling away. They stayed like that for a few beats, Sano not wanting to break the moment, allowing himself a few moments reminiscence. 

"What are we going to do about Kenshin," she said abruptly, drawing back, looking away from him. 

"You could always just tell him how you feel." 

"No! Definitely not!" she said, shaking her head and pounding his chest for emphasis. "He needs more time. Think about it. He'd just 'oro' and wander off and forget it. Or else... he'd give me that pitiful smile, and... I don't want that, Sano. I don't want him to feel like he has to leave. So... until I know how he feels... I can't tell him. I can't. I won't." She looked up at him, determined. 

Sano stayed silent, contemplating. He had chalked up her unwillingness to go the straightforward route to her just being a woman. This elaborate justification was a surprise. "Looks like you've thought about this." He shook his head and shrugged. "Whatever, it's your life." 

"You're helping me with it," she retorted. 

"Against my better judgement," he returned, snorting. 

"You're sure that's not what I should be saying?" Kaoru made a face, then looked past him, quiet. "I don't need to do anything special..." she said, poking her index fingers into each other. "I just want him to notice me." 

Sano raised an eyebrow. "Don't tell me you're not considering the big M. Come on, you're a woman. You've probably already got a wedding kimono and everything." 

Kaoru flushed even more. "Maa..." she said, Kenshinesque. 

"I mean, come on. At your age?" he continued mercilessly. "They say girls over eighteen are unmarriageable." 

Kaoru reddened, this time for a different reason. "Really," she said, struggling to keep her cool. "Is that why you spend so much time with a certain older female doctor?" 

He opened his mouth and closed it. "Touché," he said. "Even if you're completely mistaken." 

The girl was silent, the look on her face saying it all. 

"If you want my help, I think you should keep your smirks to yourself." He gave a foul look, but they both knew he was just blowing steam. Leaning back again, Sano scratched his chin, thinking. "Just notice, hm? I've got somethin' for ya..."

+ + +

He'd sent Sano ahead for several reasons; it wouldn't have been proper to leave Sano with Moemi; she had been reacting oddly to him for the past few days; he wanted the time to deal with Moemi. 

And... that's exactly what hadn't happened. Every time Kenshin had broached the subject, she'd skillfully turned the conversation elsewhere, run out of the room, or dropped something. On him. The tea she'd spilled down his back -- in addition to possibly permanently staining his kimono -- had soaked through to the skin, and now made the fabric of his hakama quite... clingy. And yes, he had thought that Moemi had been a bit... generous in her efforts to clean him off. As it was, he had fled, and now Kenshin found himself more-or-less dripping down the street. 

He wasn't quite sure why things always turned out so difficult. But it was late, and he had new problems to face. Hopefully, Kaoru would be doing better... 

Kenshin heard voices coming from the direction of Kaoru's room. So Sano actually had stayed and talked with her. A sharp twinge of jealous-- er, of nothing wrenched his stomach. Yes, no worries. He'd just go over there and break-- ah, say hello. Honestly, he did want to make sure Kaoru was all right. Voting for decency over immediacy, Kenshin stopped off in his room, peeling off his wet clothes, and slipping into a plain kimono. He wandered to the well, aiming to soak his poor hakama. 

"Sano... I think-- I--" 

"I know. I do too," returned a low rumble. 

Eh? 

Kenshin crept around the building, following the voices to their source. Kaoru and Sanosuke were sitting close together, on the walkway outside of her room. The breeze and their tones were such that their voices barely carried to the swordsman's position, but they were in plain sight. Together. Physically touching; sharing some... moment. Shocked, stunned, unsure of how to react, Kenshin lingered in the yard. 

"What are we going to do about Kenshin? 

"I don't want him to feel like he has to leave," the voice was thin and solemn. And he knew it could only mean one thing. Suddenly he wasn't so eager to speak with Kaoru. The swordsman turned, leaping over the gate and running down the streets aimlessly. Eventually, he slowed to a walk, the moonlight illuminating his way through the labyrinth of Tokyo's streets. Finally he found himself on a grassy riverbank and sat down, head in his hands. The full moon sparkled off the water like dragon scales. Unimportant, his mind deemed, and pushed the thought aside. 

He cast a baleful gaze at the night sky. Kaoru... 

If Sano was taking care of her, what could she need him for? She didn't want him to leave, but why? Out of pity? Out of desire for free labor? Or out of desire for... him? ...But that would never happen. It couldn't. 

Kenshin sagged, looking even more downtrodden. He had never told her how he felt... he wasn't quite sure how he felt. He knew he wanted her to be happy. He wanted to make her happy. He wanted to protect her and keep her safe. He wanted to take her and-- 

But that wasn't his place. And it didn't matter what he wanted, only what pleased her. So if round rice balls and clean laundry made her happy, he would cook and clean. But if Sanosuke made her more happy... 

This was ridiculous. How could he attempt to stake any claim on her? He wasn't sure of what he wanted himself... Was he even ready to open his heart that much? If she even actually cared for him, that is. He definitely didn't deserve to make her wait for him to come to terms with himself. 

He would meet with his riv-- friend, tomorrow. No more guessing, and hopefully, no more Sano. 'Kamisama, you're a hypocrite,' he thought. 

Sighing, he stood, idly looking behind him. A large face peered back. "Konban wa!" it waved. 

Letting out a small sound of surprise, Kenshin fell backwards, scrambling back up on his elbows. 

"I was wondering when you'd finally notice us, Hitokiri Battousai."

+ + +

Arms folded, Moemi waited in the side street. 'Late...' she thought, gazing into the dark sky. 'This is foolish. I'm going.' 

"Oi," a voice called. A shadowed (but not mysterious) figure approached. 

She smiled weakly with relief. "You came." 

The figure shrugged. "What'd you want?" 

"I called you here because... I need help. With Himura-sama." 

The figure crossed its arms. "And I should help you because..." 

"Well..."

+ + +

"We've finally found you... Battousai," a deep voice intoned. The owner's head popped into his field of vision, a huge grin on his round face. 

Something... snapped. 

Lashing out, Kenshin swung blindly at the person over him, grabbing from behind his head and tossing. His would-be assailant went over with a surprised yelp, rather different than expected, tumbling head over feet a few paces. Shaking his head, the man staggered to his feet, looking dizzily at him through his shaggy brown locks. "Now, hold on a minute, Himura--" 

His eyes widened as Kenshin sprang towards him, sakabatou ready. He swung it forward-- 

--and stopped, a hand on his curbing his momentum. "I think that's far enough," a smooth, deep voice said. It belonged to an attractive, slender man, taller perhaps than Sano, with just as much strength hidden in the willowy frame. "Cease and desist, Himura-san." 

Kenshin took a chance, letting go of his sword, and taking advantage of the tall man's imbalance to throw a punch at his mid-section. He did end up tagging him, but as he moved to follow up, the shorter man jumped on his back, grabbing his arms and wrapping his legs around his waist in a puppet grip. Furiously trying to knock the man off, Kenshin swatted uselessly at his back. Instead, the man yanked him backwards to the ground. Kenshin gripped him by the ankle and forearm, almost simultaneously as the man tried to jump away. Instead, they fell together, his attacker taking the brunt of the impact as Kenshin crashed to the ground, a dead weight. 

Perhaps... that hadn't been such a wise idea, Kenshin thought, dazed from falling. After a few alarming beats of silence, the body beneath him gave a shuddering breath, trying to regain the wind knocked out by the full-grown man lying across his chest. 

The tall man took a step forward, and Kenshin rolled behind, pulling the short one to his chest and pressing his forefingers into the hollow above his breastbone. "Himura-san," the tall one began. 

"If you don't want your friend to get hurt, you'll move away now," the redhead threatened. The tall one took another step forward, and Kenshin began to gouge into the prone man's neck. "Don't try me! I am -not- having a good day!" 

"Don't try him," the short one cried. "Don't you have any concern for my well-being?" 

The pretty one stopped and cocked his head, considering the idea. 

"I hate you," the short one snapped. "Now, come on Himura, can't we work this out? How about you get your fingers off my windpipe, and we sit down and talk like rational people?" 

Kenshin blinked. "Talk?" 

"Yes, you know, intelligent conversation, like the renaissance men we are?" This time, he had better luck in pushing back Kenshin's hand. 

"You don't want to kill me because of some past wrong ending in a family member or friend being killed or humiliated by me in some way?" 

The face beneath his was kindly. He rose a hand, patting a pink-clad shoulder. "It's been that bad for you, has it?" 

Himura Kenshin was completely confused. 

"After cleansing snows," the tall one quoted from... somewhere, 

"newfound friendship springs to life 

"police are coming." 

"What?!" the shorter one exclaimed, stricken. "Not again..." 

Sure enough, the bobbing light of a police lantern came around a corner, coming towards him from a couple yards away. 

"Hey there," the cop called. In response, the two men grabbed Kenshin and made a break for it.

+ + +

Eyes narrowing, the mysterious figure watched as the three men ran off, barely missing the police patrol. Ducking out of sight on the pitched roof, the figure frowned. How cowardly of Battousai, avoiding their fight in favor of those two idiots. 

But... All anger aside, it was interesting how the lines were being drawn in Himura's little drama. His best friend abandoning him for his girl, these two unknowns joining in the drama, and the woman's completely unexpected choice of allies... 

An idea struck. The mysterious figure grinned.

+ + +

tbc.

+ + +

**[notes]**

+ I promise... next chapter will be less... choppy, and more better. It'll have a decent title at least (aka not the one below)  
+ Gochisousama - Literally, 'the person who made a feast' (more or less). What you say after you eat.  
+ fusuma - sliding screen. Like a door, but not.  
+ Lolicon - short for Lolita complex. Like, little girls. Now really, I don't think anyone would really count a man liking/lusting after Kaoru (17) as having a Lolita complex. But, Moemi's real good at finding Kaoru's sore points and jabbing at them with a stick after pouring salt and lemon juice, so.  
+ 'the big M' -- marriage, of course. Hmm, ought it be the big K? (kekkon suru in Japanese)  
+ 'Tobasco' is from Napple Tale OST 2. Getting titles, lyrics, and chapters to match is too much for me... go instrumentals.

**[next]**

Yo, it's Yahiko again. Honestly, I think I'm the only one who really pays attention to what's going on. But does anyone ask me about things? Oh no, of course not. Like the challenge. Come on, Kenshin, what happened? Fighting versus crazy neffs, and you picked the neffs. Definitely dropped the ball there. Anyway, next time, yeah, whatever. So the hag tries out Roosterhead's plan (the blind leading the deaf, I tell ya), while Sano gets ready for a date. (will wonders never cease?) Kenshin goes to a twelve-step program. Hey, what's that new chick doing? And what about me? I always get shafted in these stories... Anyway, chapter three, 'SNAFU'.


End file.
